Famicom comic (1985) scanned

[punkpolitical]

Did this up real quick! Thanks to P for the script!








Post Merge: October 01, 2011, 09:33:34 pm
will upload it in pdf if anybody wants me 2.

[P]

Nice start, P.
I'll look into it once I have more time again.  

Thanks! That would be helpful!

Did this up real quick! Thanks to P for the script!

Good job using more idiomatic expressions punkpolitical! I see you even re-sized the speachbubbles!

I would like to comment on a few things:

Page 3
Kyouko asks Konkichi what he wants and calls him "anata" which is a little more polite way of saying you (even though saying you is not really polite) than what Manabu calls him. Maybe kid is not quite right here. Also she doesn't say "who are you" but more like "what is it?". For Manabu "kid" is fine though.

Page 4
Small typo "their" instead of "there"

Gyorogyoro I think is supposed to be the "sound" of looking (around) rather than just a swishing sound of turning of the head, but I don't know what to translate it to... I guess my "look look" sounds weird?

Page 7
Konkichi actually says something like "What is this? What an easy game." or "What is this? Such an easy game.".

Page 8
Kyouko actually says "ojamashimasu" which is a greeting always said when going in to someones home. It should be the same as what Konkichi said on page 5 which you slickly turned into "Sorry to intrude" (much better than my original translation). By this the reader understands that she just entered the house.

Meromero （メロメロ） is still untranslated. It means that he is becoming feeble because of love (when he heard Kyoukos voice, and the knowledge that she is coming). It's an onomatopoeic expression that I don't think exists in English so we have no choice but to use an expression with the same meaning much like a sound effect. I suggest "Lovesick" but maybe it sounds weird?

Mario doesn't really say "ow" here but "areee" (アレー） just like Manabu's shorter "are?" （アレ？）. It means something like what? or eh? (Why is this happening?). The thing is that Mario says the same thing as Manabu but more intensive as he is actually the victim, which makes the whole thing comical. That is the feeling I get at least and what I was trying to put into it.

[punkpolitical]

Fix some of the things.

Page 8

Meromero （メロメロ） is still untranslated. I did not translate this because it looks like ( XOXO ) which stands for hugs and kisses in English.
I thought the hugs and kisses would show that he likes the girl and is nervous. I think i will take it out and put in a proper characters for XOXO.

[xan_racketboy_fan]

Great job, punkpolitical - if this ever gets completed, let me know and I'll add it to the first post!

Also love the image has been "cleaned up" - looks HDfied 

[P]

Heh it certainly looks like XOXO, a bit square rings though. It's short and kind of related but I think it's a bit different. Maybe jelly or something (like in turning into jelly if there is such an expression in English)? Wow this one is really hard to translate!

Just one more thing about Mario's "are" again, the ー character is a long vowel mark which lengthens the vowel before it much like ː in IPA (phonetic script). So Mario actually says "areee" (long E) unlike Manabu who doesn't have a long vowel mark in his bubble so it is just "are" for him. So it should rather be a more drawn-out "Eeeeh!?" (same pronunciation just a longer vowel) for Mario.

I might as well post the two more pages that I have translated. This time I used spoiler tags to make my posts a bit shorter:

Spoiler

----------9----------

Konkichi: This is good, what is it called?

SFX: Munch munch (eating)

Kyouko: You don't know this kind of cookie?

Konkichi: ... Cookie!?

Konkichi: And this is?

SFX: Chuu (sucking, I don't know the English sound effect sorry)

SFX: GAAAH! (screaming)

SFX: Twitch twitch

Manabu: What!? The juice knocked him out!

----------9----------
---------10----------

Kyouko: Oh my! The Famicom got all wet.

Konkichi: Aah! That sure surprised me!

Konkichi: I'm weak against water you know.

Konkichi: Aaaaah!! This is really bad!

Konkichi: Kyouko chan wait a bit! I'll remove the water.

SFX: Lit! (Light up)

TN: Light up, this is another hard one...

SFX: Sparkle sparkle

---------10----------

[close]

[punkpolitical]

page 9 & 10

The (Lit!) sound effect is hard to convey  in English.......i understand what it supposed 2 be but can't find an English word or sound.

Spoiler

[close]

[P]

Wow that was fast! As for lit, what about using a sound effect that people recognize and that is normally used for turning on a lamp? That way we don't have to invent something new and people will hopefully instantly understand.

"Melting" is another suggestion for meromero (again if there is such an expression in English that is used for this situation).

[manuel]

The text font looks good!
But some of the translations could use a bit of a change, though. Nothing really big, but...
I wish I had a bit more time these days... This looks like a very interesting project. 

[P]

That would be great! Any suggestions for a better translation are welcome.
There are a few things on the first pages that I would like to change but I haven't gotten into it yet.

[manuel]

I'll look at it more when I have the time AND when I'm in the mood for it. These days I hardly am in the mood for much... *sniff*...

[punkpolitical]

made some changes........(lit!) to (zap!) this is temporary til i find something better.................also (meromero) was changed to (Love Drunk) this is the best i could think of for this.

If anyone wants to chime in on anything please do.


* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

[P]

Two more pages translated! I must stress that all my translations are provisional. I expect them to be changed several times before it's complete.

Before I forget I want to make a couple of corrections. On page 1 Kyouko should say: "Manabu kun you have tried so many times but you never win! You are so careless." (or alternately put Manabu kun after never win if it sounds better) I forgot "you" here.

Spoiler

---------11----------

Kyouko: Amazing! What was that now?

Konkichi: Psychokinesis!

Manabu: It was just a little wet, why did you panic like that?

Konkichi: What? You don't know?

Manabu: About what?

Konkichi: I guess it can't be helped then.

---------11----------
---------12----------

Manabu: The Famicom is weak against water you see. Inside the main unit there are LSIs and
from these goes many connector traces.

Electricity flows here and if the water reaches this, I'm afraid it will short circuit you see.

Manabu: Get it?

Kyouko: Uh-huh, I know that electricity is bad with water.

Manabu: By the way Konkichi, What is an LSI?

Konkichi: Whaa, so you don't know about LSI either.

TN: He says Heee (pronounced as E in "get" not like in "seek") instead of "Whaa" I have no
idea what you would say in English though. It's what you say when you find out something intresting.

SFX: Hihi (laughing) (Is it spelled "Heehee" maybe?)

Kyouko: That is impossible for us to know. It's something that isn't taught at school.

---------12----------

[close]

To be continued......

Edit: Removed confusing corrections (thanks Manuel).

[manuel]

Manabu has made a deal with his mom. He promised he'd only play or a certain amount of time. And that's why they can play Famicom at his place.

[punkpolitical]

Page 11 & 12. Thank you P for doing more of the script! Thanks Manuel for the input!    

Spoiler

[close]

also made changes to page 1 & 2

[P]

Manabu has made a deal with his mom. He promised he'd only play or a certain amount of time. And that's why they can play Famicom at his place.

I see, I didn't understand that phrase at first. So yakusoku is promise and not appointment then. Thanks allot Manuel!


Also good job punkpolitical! Manabu says on page 2: "No problem! I promised [my mom] to only play for one hour from now on"